The Chicken and the Ant

  By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     Life lessons have a way of staying with us. Sometimes we forget about them, and they lay in wait until they need to be applied. Some of my own lessons come to mind. How about the time I asked a lady when “she was due” when she wasn’t due at all? Or what about the time I played on the men’s baseball team at church when I had never played a game in my life. The truth was, I didn’t know where to throw the ball, where to stand, or what to say to cover my embarrassment. Lesson learned I guess, but it would have been good to know that quite a few people show up to watch the game.

     When I was a little kid, my mom used to dress me in these weird outfits she called, “sun suits.” Best that I can remember, they weren’t anything more than shorts with a built in suspender type deal. The reason I say this, is to describe the time I was at the corner of my grandparent's yard in Florida playing with my match-box cars. Things seemed pretty innocent with no problems on the horizon. Just a kid in his sun-suit imagining he was driving a miniature Mustang. I noticed a small ant climbing along my thigh before the gates of hell opened up. I smacked at the ant, and that must have been a distress signal for all of the ants in Florida to bite my little boy parts in unison. There were several life lessons to be learned that day. First of all, those strange little sun suits are very hard to get off your body when your strapped in like a paratrooper. Secondly, when your parts are on fire, you need to have command of the English language so you can instruct your mom of the issue. And I would imagine another important lesson is to not find out you have turrets syndrome in front of your mom and both of her parents. They probably forget how cute you are. Yeah, that day was chalked full of little lessons.

     There was another time right around the same season of my life when I was savagely attacked by a rooster. My grandma had warned me not to be throwing rocks at the chickens, but I have never been a great listener. So, while the grown-ups are all inside having coffee, I found myself all alone throwing rocks at chickens because that’s the kind of kid I was. I was a terrible human being. Anyway, as I’m standing in the barn lot throwing rocks at the poultry, I look to my left as a very angry rooster is viscously flapping up my fat little leg. I was terrified. I tried to run, but the rooster was faster. I fell several times as I cried and screamed for my terrible young life. Was there a lesson learned? Not really a “life lesson,” but I wouldn’t throw rocks at chickens unless you’re wearing a full set of Car-Harts and running shoes. This might apply to glass houses too, if you happen to live in an aquarium.

     As we get older, I think it’s a natural thing to laugh at our little mistakes. We have hopefully evolved to some degree, but there is always room for improvement. I have learned not to play with ant- hills. I don’t throw myself into baseball games like I’m the great Bambino. And I avoid all eye contact with full-size ladies for fear of blurting out something insanely stupid. The thing is, I am still prone to doing and saying things I regret. If I have learned anything, I would truly hope I am finally smart enough not to say something that would hurt someone’s feelings. After all, it’s absolutely fine for me to share my own mistakes and make fun of myself. On the other hand, it’s never ok for me to hurt someone else’s feelings either by accident or on purpose. As I’ve gotten older, I have realized just how important every single person is in my world. Everyone I know truly has a reason for being there. It’s almost like every person is a puzzle piece. Many people have taught me some pretty applicable lessons in spite of myself. The most important one? I’m not sure, but maybe we shouldn’t take things so seriously.  

Keep in touch!

Visit my website

Check out my Facebook

Subscribe to my YouTube

Follow me on Twitter!

Booking Inquiries

Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.         

Sunsets, Songs, and I Refuse to Grow Old

    By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author 

     Here’s something a little bit crazy: “I don’t think I’m ready to get old just yet.” Come to think of it, considering all of the Botox and saggy things being “un-sagged”, maybe I’m not the only one. My reasons are quite a bit different though. The ugly truth is I can’t say that I enjoyed my life all that much until my wife and daughters came into it. They gave me a lift that can’t be bought at a doctor’s office.

​

     Looking back on my world now that I have become a middle- aged man, I can easily see that I suffered from at least some level of depression. I can’t say that I actually battled depression because I don’t remember fighting it at all. But, the day I met my wife, all of that changed. I knew in my heart that if I could find a way to add her into my mix, things would get better. Yes, my music had been there in my life as far back as I can remember. I’m a musician. It’s what I do and it’s who I am. But she brought something else to the table that I had never felt. She brought me the chance to feel complete love and devotion. She gave me two girls that I fall over myself about every single day. And she also energized me to the point that I knew I could actually become something in the music business. The class is still out on what I will become, but it doesn’t matter that much. The fact that she gave me the power to pursue my music is a miracle in itself. I’m thinking she might be my muse, but I’m not exactly sure what that is…

      When I say I don’t want to get old, I don’t mean I’m afraid of the aging process. Instead, what I mean is that I know every day is numbered and I just don’t want to run out of days. I want to walk with Cyndi’s hand in mine. I want to travel and see things for the first time with her. I want to see my daughters become all that they ever wanted to become. And I hope to smell that familiar “baby smell” some day as I hold my own grandchildren.

​

     I always tell people closest to me that everything good in my life has happened because of music in some way. The joy of writing a song is way up on the list. For me, there isn’t anything quite like sitting alone with a guitar and a scrap of paper and then watching the little song become something bigger a few short weeks or months later. Because of the music, I have met people that are like me. I’m talking about the ones with the “affliction” of chasing down unwritten songs. Because of being a songwriter, I met and fell in love with Cyndi. (She worked at a label in Nashville when I met her)  And because of Cyndi and my songs, I have these two wonderful daughters. It’s hard to show on this paper here, but I assure you everything is connected through music. It’s like a big, funky, musical tree!

​

     So, let me get back to this aging process we were discussing a little bit earlier. It’s important for you to know that I’m not old just yet. I mean, I’m not exactly a spring chicken, but I’m not really old yet either. But I am old enough to know how precious and full of surprises life is. I know that I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. And I know that all that I have ever wanted from this life is now squarely sitting in my hands. These days I spend a lot more time thinking about how happy I am than thinking about past mistakes. I consider every single day to be a gift. And I look forward to finally seeing all of those sunsets together with my wife as we travel around the country with these songs. It really is good to be alive and believe me when I tell you I take nothing for granted. 

Final thoughts:

​

     Every week I write a new blog. Every week I wonder what part of my life I can share with people that might in some way be helpful. I certainly didn’t put this entry together to brag about my life. Instead, what I want you to know is that happiness is there for us. We just have to be willing to make ourselves available to it. You know, years ago, I was in a marriage that wasn’t working for me. I was trying to endure a career and a dead marriage.  And I was on the verge of a pretty big flip out session. You can’t spend your life trying to please everyone. We aren’t house pets. We are individuals with our own interests and our own dreams. There comes a time when a person has to decide how much more he or she is willing to take. Myself, I decided that I needed a little bit of personal modification. I had to start being who I really am rather than what I was becoming.  

​

     I don’t know who is reading this article, but I promise whoever it is, understands what I’m talking about. Maybe it’s not too big of a stretch to say that you were the very person this blog was written for. I don’t know. But, if you have a big empty spot in the middle of your soul and you feel like your life lacks direction, consider the reasons why. Ask yourself what it would take in order to find true peace in your heart. What is it that’s missing? Did you lose direction a while back? What can be done? Just allow your mind to put the wants and the needs in order. Compartmentalize the facts, and deal with the issue.  It isn’t a sin to desire to be happy. Like I have said, over and over, sometimes we just need to believe in ourselves and chase down our own brand of happiness. It’s all just outside waiting for you. Life is far to short and fragile to put everything on the back burner. 

We never know what is waiting just around the corner.   

Keep in touch!

Visit my website

Check out my Facebook

Subscribe to my YouTube

Follow me on Twitter!

Booking Inquiries

Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

Growing Along the Way

By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer and Author

     I have spent more than my share of time complaining. I have found reasons to blame others for my own shortcomings. I have pointed towards anything or anyone but me far too many times when I alone, was the culprit. Somewhere along the way, thank God, I have been able to find clarity. I have been able to humble myself long enough to accept the fact that I may have been my biggest enemy. It would be easy to blame my shortcomings on my sinful nature, but that again would be taking the blame game of original sin all the way back to Eden and not truly accepting what is deservedly mine.

     I have always felt protected by God. I have always felt in my heart that He had some type of plan for me. I’m not trying to say that I am “special” in any way. I suppose I have just truly believed in His love and protection. I know with every cell in my body that God loves and protects us all. I believe He has plans for us if we are willing to allow ourselves to be molded into what is needed.

     So it seems as though my dream of playing music is finally beginning to qualify itself as something more than just a dream. I am engaged at every level these days preparing for this new role in my life. As I have said several times before, I have allowed myself to drift away from the original dream of actually touring and meeting people and assumed that I would always be a songwriter that works behind the scenes most of the time. The change in direction has caught me off guard, and I can only say that there is just no way I could be happier. I truly look forward to what is around the corner. I want to meet people that have supported me, and my music. There have been many times when I wondered how I could go one more step, and then almost magically some kind and thoughtful person would send me a private message. I remember a lady telling me that one of my songs had helped her through the loss of her spouse. That message meant more to me than I could ever put into words. It gave me the energy to keep pushing on and not give up.

     I know now that the good Lord was there beside me all along. He gently nudged me down the path that I needed to travel in order to grow both emotionally as well as spiritually. Through the years there have been so many false starts with my music career. The cold, hard fact is, He wouldn’t allow things to truly begin until I was ready. It has been hard to live with all of this time, but I am so glad things have happened the way they did. I feel good these days. I am probably healthier than I have ever been in my life. I find myself thanking the Lord for nearly everything. I have a perfect marriage, healthy children, a beautiful home, and my parents are healthy. I think God’s timing was just different than my own, and I am absolutely fine with the outcome.

     I tell you all of this very personal information because I am willing to use myself as an example. I have made nearly every mistake imaginable, and one would think that my future would be over. But that isn’t how things always go. If you feel or have ever felt that your options were in the past, I would ask you to re-consider. These days, the way I see it is, those of us that have weathered the storms may be better served to help others along the way. We have felt the hurt and disappointment that life often brings. If we all had a perfect record, how could we listen to and help others? How could I write a song? You and I have become journeymen in this career called life. We have felt the pain that is necessary in order to understand others. We have made catastrophic mistakes, so maybe it will be easier for us not to judge others.

     What’s that? Oh, you haven’t made catastrophic mistakes? That’s ok; that’s probably just me. I have always been slow in the developmental department. Just know that you have insight like no others, and you are truly valuable. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t lose your faith. And always remember that no matter how much water is under the bridge, it’s never too late to change your position in life. Allow yourself to, “Be who you are rather than what you have allowed yourself to become.”  

We all need each other. Don’t ever forget that.    

We Have It All... Just Like Bogie and Bacall

By Scott Coner

Country Artist

         A painful childhood does not create talent, and neither do mistakes that we make along the way. An artist may develop cynicism, a mistrust of authority, or an allergy towards phonies, but the development of art begins I think in the heart. Humphrey Bogart happened to be one of those children that came from a broken home. He grew up on the fashionable side of Manhattan and even summered in his family’s Victorian “cottage” in upstate New York. To the rest of the world, the Bogart family was upper middle class people enjoying the American dream. But to Humphrey and his sisters, they had an existence that included marital screaming, neglect, and abusive servants, complicated by the drinking and morphine addiction of both parents.

         Because of this darkness, Humphrey didn’t do well in any of the private schools he attended. His relationships were always on the rails because of his own trust issues. But in the midst of his problems, he found a sense of duty that characterized his personal life and motivated his greatest characters. In other words, I suppose, “Bogie” didn’t just become an actor. He used that emotional combination of pain, mistrust and anger to paint a portrait on the silver screen that the entire world would eventually attach itself to. Mr. Bogart never fully understood the interest that the rest of the world showed him. He was quoted as saying, “The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see his tail."

         As with any artist or any other life, Bogart had his share of high points and low points. Classic movies and completely forgettable flops came and went. Marriages and divorces, embarrassing tabloids, regrets and joyous occasions all colored his life into one unforgettable legend.

Scott Coner on his farm in Indiana (Photo by Cynnamae Media Productions)

         Maybe in the end, after all of these years, we see a man that the world identified with. Maybe the key to his legend was he was just enough hero to admire from afar, and just enough of a regular guy to recognize up close, Because of his imperfections, his generation identified with him. They counted on his character to do the right thing. They loved him simply because he was just a regular guy.

         I look around at our society these days, and I see a world that has come a long way since “Casablanca”. In a way, we have come such a distance that we are about to repeat ourselves. The speed at which we run, the coldness that we all endure from this technological state, and the lack of morality that our culture has, may have painted us all into a corner. Even though we live in a complex world, when you bring it back to basics, we are in need of a hero. We need a new direction to take. We need something to save us from ourselves. This world we live in has become too confusing due to political correctness and the complete lack of core values in our culture.

         Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to somehow get back to the basics. Wouldn’t it be nice to find yourself in a world that still had some class? A world where it was common again to hold the door open for women, to pray before our meals, to pledge our allegiance to our country that has offered so much to each of us. Humphrey Bogart shined the brightest during some of our country's darkest hours. Our world was at war. American soldiers were dying by the thousands, and our country prayerfully and quietly did the right things in order to be certain our soldiers had what was needed to win the war. We stood behind our troops, we trusted our country's leaders, and we were willing to lay certain opinions aside in order to be in compliance with what was just and needed.

 Scott Coner wrote Indiana Rain with his friend 

Steve Rogowski about an Indiana soldier   

         During those challenging years, those who stayed behind in the United States to support our troops and meet whatever challenges came up, found moments of escape in the “Silver Screen”. Then, like now, there was something special that happened when Hollywood brought us her best. Humphrey Bogart was an actor, but at the same time, he was also an artist. His artistry, his appeal, gave the greatest generation a moment of badly needed hope. This regular, short, little man was a giant among his peers. His art simply put, allowed Americans to escape from the worry and sadness that seemed to blanket the globe at the time.

         These days, although we aren’t in the midst of a world war, we are certainly at war. There are those out there who want to see us brought to our knees. They want us to be punished because we are great, and good, and powerful, and Christian. Through my eyes, I see a country that is in need of direction. We need to find ourselves again. We need to find a way to pull together and leave certain differences in the dust. We need to see the things we have in common rather than the things that tear us apart. We need to pray more and talk out loud a little bit less. We need to find our muscle and leave our weakness on the porch. We need to turn our music up and turn those that oppose us off. We need to learn to love each other again and fight like a junkyard dog when someone else opposes one of us. We are still one, we have just forgotten. We are still under the shadow of the Cross, we have only lost our focus.

         If you are an artist, I recommend that you allow your art to promote these things. We need purity instead of filth. We thirst for winning instead of constantly losing. We need heroes these days. We need men and women who stand for what is solidly right. The art of this moment should lift your country and her character up. If you are an actor, a photographer, a singer or a songwriter, a painter or a model, an actress or a director, the world needs you right now. Stand up with what you have and be a hero. Be like Mr. Bogart. Just don’t "Bogart" that… What was that my friend?  I must have lost my focus.  

     

         Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at www.Facebook.com/ScottConerMusic, www.YouTube.com/user/ScottConer, and www.ScottConer.com. Follow Scott at www.Twitter.com/ScottConer.

Why Worry, Why Wait?

By Scott Coner

Country Artist

Why worry? There should be laughter after pain...

There should be sunshine after rain...

These things have always been the same...

So why worry now?

                                                        -- Dire Straits

            How many times have you silently promised yourself that you would get around to it “one of these days”? Do you have some crystal ball promising you a tomorrow, or are you simply putting off the hard stuff? I spent the first half of my life spending it like pocket change. I had some good times now and then, but I lacked a responsible focus. Instead, I would find a quiet place and dream and promise myself that one day I would finally pursue my own goals and stop wasting my time doing what everyone else expected me to do. Well, by the time I hit my late thirties, I was starting to lose my mind. I felt like the sand in the glass was running out, I was trapped, and it was over for me. The day I finally hit the wall full speed, there were parts of me scattered all around. I was either going to have to make some immediate and very specific changes, or throw myself in a pond holding a rock. There was just not going to be a middle of the road for me.

Scott Coner (Photo by Cynnamae Media Productions)

            There was a lesson there for me, and looking back now, I believe it was worth learning and waiting for, but I definitely waited longer than necessary. I got my own lens into focus. I began to categorize exactly what it was going to take to get a shot at music and take my whole family along for the ride. I want and need for my wife to be with me. She brings with her a massive amount of insight and talent in business and photography. She also calms my spirit. I want both of our daughters to get an insight at the vast amount of possibilities in the business itself, the travel, the people, and the beauty of it all. I wanted both of my parents to be there as well. I want us all to be a part of the journey. I want us to grow together and share memories for the rest of our lives. At the same time of course, I want each of my loved ones to follow their own dreams and develop into who and what they are inclined to be. My wife and I will support our daughters to chase whatever dream God has placed upon their heart. We have actually encouraged them to leave our little town and take the entire world in. There will be no sitting on the ledge waiting to live for anyone in my family as long as I have anything to say about it.

A song about believing... "If The Stars Burn Out"

            The reason I share this part of me with you the reader is this: I want you to follow your heart. I know that you and I aren’t acquainted, but I believe that you may be reading this for a reason. There is something special about you, something that sets you apart from the rest of us. I have met so many truly kind and interesting people through the years, it would be hard to narrow it down to any specific circumstance. But the one commonality these people all shared was that they were all at peace with themselves. They knew who they were, what they wanted, and where they stood.  

            I hope that you will take this day and begin to seek the change required to get on your path. We have all heard about the path with the least resistance. I know for sure that the things we want most in life require a certain amount of fire to harden our steel. The moments when we feel worn out and weak are the very times we are growing stronger and more antiquated with our own desire and direction. Don’t wait so long. Don’t put it off. None of us know what tomorrow brings, and we have to be who we are in the moment. You have a dream. You have a talent. What are you really waiting for? There is no worry in this. Put your faith in yourself and God.  Allow those that love you the opportunity to be with you and share the joys as well as sorrows. Allow them to see you meet your challenges. Let them see you fail along the way because there will most certainly be missteps. But most of all, let them be with you and celebrate with you those moments when the worry stops, the rain subsides, and the sun begins to shine. If you will take these steps, I promise you a feeling of calm you have never felt before. Put your worries aside, and allow yourself to live a more fulfilling existence while you are here on this earth. Don’t you worry! Just go jump in the puddles that the storms leave behind, and smile until your face begins to hurt. 

         Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at www.Facebook.com/ScottConerMusic, www.YouTube.com/user/ScottConer, and www.ScottConer.com. Follow Scott at www.Twitter.com/ScottConer.