The Chicken and the Ant

  By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     Life lessons have a way of staying with us. Sometimes we forget about them, and they lay in wait until they need to be applied. Some of my own lessons come to mind. How about the time I asked a lady when “she was due” when she wasn’t due at all? Or what about the time I played on the men’s baseball team at church when I had never played a game in my life. The truth was, I didn’t know where to throw the ball, where to stand, or what to say to cover my embarrassment. Lesson learned I guess, but it would have been good to know that quite a few people show up to watch the game.

     When I was a little kid, my mom used to dress me in these weird outfits she called, “sun suits.” Best that I can remember, they weren’t anything more than shorts with a built in suspender type deal. The reason I say this, is to describe the time I was at the corner of my grandparent's yard in Florida playing with my match-box cars. Things seemed pretty innocent with no problems on the horizon. Just a kid in his sun-suit imagining he was driving a miniature Mustang. I noticed a small ant climbing along my thigh before the gates of hell opened up. I smacked at the ant, and that must have been a distress signal for all of the ants in Florida to bite my little boy parts in unison. There were several life lessons to be learned that day. First of all, those strange little sun suits are very hard to get off your body when your strapped in like a paratrooper. Secondly, when your parts are on fire, you need to have command of the English language so you can instruct your mom of the issue. And I would imagine another important lesson is to not find out you have turrets syndrome in front of your mom and both of her parents. They probably forget how cute you are. Yeah, that day was chalked full of little lessons.

     There was another time right around the same season of my life when I was savagely attacked by a rooster. My grandma had warned me not to be throwing rocks at the chickens, but I have never been a great listener. So, while the grown-ups are all inside having coffee, I found myself all alone throwing rocks at chickens because that’s the kind of kid I was. I was a terrible human being. Anyway, as I’m standing in the barn lot throwing rocks at the poultry, I look to my left as a very angry rooster is viscously flapping up my fat little leg. I was terrified. I tried to run, but the rooster was faster. I fell several times as I cried and screamed for my terrible young life. Was there a lesson learned? Not really a “life lesson,” but I wouldn’t throw rocks at chickens unless you’re wearing a full set of Car-Harts and running shoes. This might apply to glass houses too, if you happen to live in an aquarium.

     As we get older, I think it’s a natural thing to laugh at our little mistakes. We have hopefully evolved to some degree, but there is always room for improvement. I have learned not to play with ant- hills. I don’t throw myself into baseball games like I’m the great Bambino. And I avoid all eye contact with full-size ladies for fear of blurting out something insanely stupid. The thing is, I am still prone to doing and saying things I regret. If I have learned anything, I would truly hope I am finally smart enough not to say something that would hurt someone’s feelings. After all, it’s absolutely fine for me to share my own mistakes and make fun of myself. On the other hand, it’s never ok for me to hurt someone else’s feelings either by accident or on purpose. As I’ve gotten older, I have realized just how important every single person is in my world. Everyone I know truly has a reason for being there. It’s almost like every person is a puzzle piece. Many people have taught me some pretty applicable lessons in spite of myself. The most important one? I’m not sure, but maybe we shouldn’t take things so seriously.  

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.         

Cutting the Heart out of the Song

      By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     I’m about to do something I have not wanted to do. I’m about to shorten some of my songs in order to be in compliance with today’s market. Even though I believe that the industry itself treats music fans like they have the attention span of a mosquito, I don’t see any other path for me if I’m going to pursue the market at all. This morning I had a conversation with a producer friend of mine. He had a song I had written and recorded with Tanya Tucker a while back loaded on pro-tools. I had given him the track to see how difficult it would be to cut out an entire verse. I hate to do it, but if the song is going to get any play in America, it has to be trimmed down quite a bit. Even with the cut backs, more than likely, it won’t get a lot of play -time. But there is always the chance that a handful of the classic country radio stations around middle- America might like a new song featuring a legendary artist.
                               
                              
     I grew up on vinyl albums. Back then most kids didn’t have a lot of money. So when he or she bought an entire album, it was listened to all the way through. Songs weren’t shortened for the album and often times they would play for well over five minutes. I actually enjoyed finding songs on an album that I liked and having them play out for a while. Early on, I was a Marshall Tucker fan and Lord knows that band wasn’t scared to make you listen for a while to a song. I guess I mistakenly assumed that if a song played nicely, an extra minute or so wasn’t too much of a problem. This is where I was altogether wrong during this moment in time anyway. Sometimes conditions change without us being fully aware. One of the things that I don’t do a lot of is listen to today’s music on purpose. I truly believe that writers, as well as artists, should have their own sound, and I don’t want to accidentally pick up someone else’s approach to a set of chords or an idea.

     I stand strong in the idea that music is art. I don’t believe that art should be copied. When I sit down to write alone or with co-writers, I approach the piece as if it might be the very last song I’m ever able to be a part of. I want the song to say something. I selfishly want the song to share some secret about me that I have never told anyone. Wither it’s a thought or an opinion; it doesn’t matter. I just try to sneak my DNA in there somewhere. My hope is that each song makes some kind of statement. As far as I’m concerned, if we are going to ask the casual listener to give us three minutes of their time, it should be three minutes well spent.

     Recently, I wrote a song with two very successful writers. After the song was complete, I looked at the lyrics sitting there in front of me on a piece of paper. It opened with a chorus followed with four lines in a verse. The verse was followed with another chorus, two verse lines, a chorus and a half and the song was done! I like the song. I think it’s uplifting and I’m proud to have been part of it. It’s just so odd to me that this is where music is trending these days. I don’t think the market is dumbing down its listeners. Instead, I think maybe radio representatives are trying to crunch as many songs as possible into small portions of allocated time due to advertisements. I truly don’t know for sure. 

     So, getting back to the Tanya Tucker song. I will gut the song like a fish and try not to complain too much. We will enhance it a few different ways by changing the bass lines and thickening the drums. But in the end, we will remove an important part of my song. We will re-release it and see what happens. But as we make the song available to the buyer, I will always want the full -length version ready for the taking just in case anyone still cares. To me, it’s like sharing half of a picture. You know the ones. The photos with the odd scissor cut up one side of the photograph and someone from another time or relationship is missing?         

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.         

I Wouldn't Change Much Even If I Could

      By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     I couldn’t have met my wife at a worse time. But I did, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I fell all over myself for her and I was pretty sure if I didn’t have her by my side for the rest of my life, I didn’t care to go on. I was in the process of a divorce. She was in the same process. Man, it was just awful. I think everybody that knew us at the time had nothing encouraging to say about our state of affairs. It was embarrassing and I know it looked sketchy at best. The thing is, you don’t get to choose when or how certain things happen. You respond the best way possible and hope for the best. I remember pretty well the day I sat in a truck talking to Cyndi about how I saw things. I told her how much she meant to me. I tried to understand what she was going through. And we both were fully aware that everybody on our little world were staying up late talking badly about us. We both cared about what people thought. We didn’t want to disappoint anybody. But, like I’ve said, I was head over heals and there was no turning back. 

                                                                                                

                                    

     If there have been any issues in our marriage after all of these years, I assure you it has been my fault. If there has been anyone that has brought a level of integrity and beauty into my life, I can also assure you it was because of her. She taught me how to relax. She gave me children. She made our home look like something out of a magazine. And every time I look at her she still takes my breath away. So, after all the dust settled, I came out the winner by a very long margin. I didn’t deserve her. Yes, I’m aware. But, somehow, I got everything I could have ever imagined.      

     As she and I get older together, we talk about this next stage in life that is about to come upon us. Our daughters are grown and it won’t be long until it’s just going to be us. We will be “empty nesters” as they say. It scares us both a little. And we both talk about how quickly time seems to slide by without being noticed. If I could wish for one thing, I would wish for more time with her and the girls. It’s heartbreaking to realize in the not too distant future my life will be nearly over and I just don’t want to go. I’m not scared of dying, but I’m terrified of being without them.

               

     

     There have been moments I have been a total jerk. Those are the times and the memories that I hate the most. It’s true that you can’t take back things you do and say. I just wish it were possible because I would never do anything on purpose to hurt her or my family. As I get older, I begin to better understand that my life has been blessed from the start. I have had opportunities that others would have loved to have. I have walked away from more than most even dream of. And somehow, I still landed right side up. I don’t know how that happened, so I can’t explain it. I do know without any doubt at all that at this moment, I am very, very happy to have my life. I love how things have turned out and I don’t have regrets. I wouldn’t dare complain too much because I think it would fall on deaf ears anyway.

     

     I don’t have any real wisdom to pass along after living all of this life. I always tell young guys to wear good shoes because their knees will thank them later. I also tell anyone that will listen that they should eat well and not poison themselves with fast food. Other than that, make sure you get a woman like mine. If you can do that, you will want to be home every chance you get. You will walk around with a smile while everyone else wants to complain. And when you get older, you’ll be like me. You’ll want to live on forever because you are certain you have heaven right here on earth. You will lay in the dark of the night with a huge smile as you hold in your arms one of God’s greatest treasures. You will realize that you have everything worth having. While others stand in line to buy a lottery ticket, you can know you won a long time ago and you have no room or desire for anything more. 

                                                        Life is very cool.     

                                   

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

Finding What Matters

     By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author

     I had a long talk with an old friend today. We talked about family and friends. We talked about how quickly time goes. But we eventually always talk about music. We discussed the beauty of the feelings that visit us when we write a song. We talked about the differentiation of music and the business of music. I don’t suppose we discussed anything that hasn’t been discussed a million times before. What struck me, though, wasn’t what took place on the phone. What got to me were thoughts I had as I drove down the road alone considering the topic itself.

     My relationship with music seems to revitalize itself pretty often. As I have said before, music has brought me nearly everything worth having that is in my life. I have gone deep into my personal world and shared my feelings with strangers through a song. My closest friends are all part of the music world. Music allows me to see the world through a slightly different lens than how I might have originally viewed it. It gives me so much it’s very hard to put into words. Somehow, it gently just became what I am. I think it is comparable to a farmer that gives his heart and soul to the earth. He works with. He knows it. After a while, he doesn’t seem comfortable anywhere except in his own God-given world.

              

     Recently, I have pushed myself to limits I hadn’t needed to go to before. I have prepared a show that will be around for quite a while if all goes well. I would compare it to a very small off-Broadway play. During the show, I will discuss why certain songs mean so much to me. I will also discuss the ways and reasons I have written many of my own songs. Along with this, we will be incorporating quite a bit of media behind me on the stage. I will include some portions of video from my own songs. I think we will be including photos and video of my family. I also hope to include quite a few unique videos from around the countryside from where I’m from.  The people that I work with in Nashville have taught me the importance of refining everything that goes with the show. They have helped me understand that I need to keep the things the same at all times. Sometimes life just happens, and we might find ourselves a bit off balance or disheartened. Specific structure will help me maintain the quality of the show. In truth, this probably keeps me from getting in front of people and rambling on unnecessarily. I know I have done this in the past, so believe me, structure and rules need to apply.

     Anyway, after talking with my friend about music, I began to think how truly blessed I am to be able to do what I love so much. I truly hope that whoever is reading this has a personal perspective of being whole and full of what matters. The world seems like a pretty crazy place to me these days. But it all melts away when I turn it off and visit the place that music takes me. Life is hard. I know that we can’t hide from the fact. But, I truly believe that if we could all find our true purpose, most of the world’s craziness would just go away. True peace really does come from within.

I might sound like I need to be handing flowers out an airport, but our busy surroundings 

don’t allow for nearly enough time to enjoy what feeds our soul.   

 

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

All Lives Matter

By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer and Author

     Do you ever think about what “could” have been when you look back on your life? Do you privately find yourself drifting off into the mist as you think about someone or something in your past for some reason? Maybe a song comes on your car radio as you drive to work that touches a part of your heart that you had assumed had healed or at least settled down thousands of days ago. “Just for a moment, I was back in school. I felt that old familiar pain. I turned to make my way back home, and the snow turned into rain.” Do you remember that old Dan Fogelberg song from the early eighties? I know I’ve mentioned it before, but that lyric still speaks volumes to me.

     From the minute we arrive in this world, there is a giant hourglass somewhere in the great beyond. Each grain of sand represents a heartbeat in our lives, and we would be well served to acknowledge this fact. Every hope and dream we put on the shelf have a string attached to it that connects to our soul. Can you stop doing what you're doing long enough to remember your original plans? I know, the world keeps spinning pretty fast these days and sometimes it’s hard to get a memory in edgewise.

     

     The truth is, we all have so much to give. It’s the way the creator made us. If He made us in his image, how can we go wrong? Deep inside of you there is a place where your dreams and passions stay. They don’t just leave, and they are a part of you. In the last few months, I have made several attempts at this same theme several different ways, but the reason I keep coming at it is it’s important. It’s important to me, and it’s important “for” you. You never know who is watching, who is listening. There are those in your circle of friends and family that need your inspiration. If you can find a way to grab hold of your destiny, then there is a pretty good chance you will give them the strength to move forward.

      I believe what I’m describing is the process required to begin building a legacy. I’m not talking about what gentle words will be used at your funeral or obituary. I’m talking about turning your life on full volume and engaging in what it is that you love. Defensively, your first thought will be to say, “My legacy is my children. My family has been everything to me, and I’ve given them my whole heart.” I don’t doubt that one bit, but I’m not really talking about your kids, although they are incredibly important with far-reaching effects on the world themselves. I’m talking about you. I believe we all have so much to give. Your personal approach to something can have earthshaking effects on someone, and that someone may be a person that you love very much.

     As a kid, I watched my very young parents start with absolutely nothing. They worked together and agreed upon certain things they would just have to live without in order to accomplish their shared dream. My dad’s brother was involved as well as his wife, and I am certain their household did without a few things in the early years. As my family put their dreams to the task, a company was born that collectively allowed thousands of families to have great paying jobs, nice homes, college opportunities, and dreams of their own. This company grew in leaps and bounds and became much, much bigger than my parent’s original dream. These days, the water has settled, and my dad is retired. He spends his days with my mom, and they can sit back and know that their legacy became a reality that touched thousands of lives in a very positive way.

     I suppose because of being given a first-row seat in witnessing a dream come full circle, and I am a believer in hard work, commitment, and passion. I watched what happens when you don’t give up even when the storms come. I don’t think for a minute that something laid upon your heart is impossible. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are more than capable of making that dream become a reality.

     I am not in any way saying for you to ditch all that you have at this moment and go chasing rainbows. What I am trying to recommend is that you put together a plan with God and your loved one’s and pursue what you truly are instead of what you may have allowed yourself to become. Don’t worry so much about your pre-existing busy schedule. There are always answers. Just make a plan, be willing to adjust as needed, and go for it. It doesn’t matter what it is. You may have originally wanted to be a clothing designer or a teacher, or nurse. You may have wanted to be a contractor or fence builder. It truly doesn’t matter. If it is on your heart and in your soul, then it is important. I’m telling you that every day matters. I’m sure you can agree with me when I say that life is short and very fragile. You are going to make a difference not only in your life but in other lives as well. I don’t believe we were put here on this earth to simply punch a timecard or get a weekly check for some mundane job. We were put here to Glorify God and live every day like it was our very last. I’m sure you have heard the slogan, “Make America Great Again”? Well, this is where we start. This is how we can change our world. This is how we begin to build a legacy that will be lasting. 

Grab a hold of it and don’t ever let go.

    

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.