I Wouldn't Change Much Even If I Could

      By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     I couldn’t have met my wife at a worse time. But I did, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I fell all over myself for her and I was pretty sure if I didn’t have her by my side for the rest of my life, I didn’t care to go on. I was in the process of a divorce. She was in the same process. Man, it was just awful. I think everybody that knew us at the time had nothing encouraging to say about our state of affairs. It was embarrassing and I know it looked sketchy at best. The thing is, you don’t get to choose when or how certain things happen. You respond the best way possible and hope for the best. I remember pretty well the day I sat in a truck talking to Cyndi about how I saw things. I told her how much she meant to me. I tried to understand what she was going through. And we both were fully aware that everybody on our little world were staying up late talking badly about us. We both cared about what people thought. We didn’t want to disappoint anybody. But, like I’ve said, I was head over heals and there was no turning back. 

                                                                                                

                                    

     If there have been any issues in our marriage after all of these years, I assure you it has been my fault. If there has been anyone that has brought a level of integrity and beauty into my life, I can also assure you it was because of her. She taught me how to relax. She gave me children. She made our home look like something out of a magazine. And every time I look at her she still takes my breath away. So, after all the dust settled, I came out the winner by a very long margin. I didn’t deserve her. Yes, I’m aware. But, somehow, I got everything I could have ever imagined.      

     As she and I get older together, we talk about this next stage in life that is about to come upon us. Our daughters are grown and it won’t be long until it’s just going to be us. We will be “empty nesters” as they say. It scares us both a little. And we both talk about how quickly time seems to slide by without being noticed. If I could wish for one thing, I would wish for more time with her and the girls. It’s heartbreaking to realize in the not too distant future my life will be nearly over and I just don’t want to go. I’m not scared of dying, but I’m terrified of being without them.

               

     

     There have been moments I have been a total jerk. Those are the times and the memories that I hate the most. It’s true that you can’t take back things you do and say. I just wish it were possible because I would never do anything on purpose to hurt her or my family. As I get older, I begin to better understand that my life has been blessed from the start. I have had opportunities that others would have loved to have. I have walked away from more than most even dream of. And somehow, I still landed right side up. I don’t know how that happened, so I can’t explain it. I do know without any doubt at all that at this moment, I am very, very happy to have my life. I love how things have turned out and I don’t have regrets. I wouldn’t dare complain too much because I think it would fall on deaf ears anyway.

     

     I don’t have any real wisdom to pass along after living all of this life. I always tell young guys to wear good shoes because their knees will thank them later. I also tell anyone that will listen that they should eat well and not poison themselves with fast food. Other than that, make sure you get a woman like mine. If you can do that, you will want to be home every chance you get. You will walk around with a smile while everyone else wants to complain. And when you get older, you’ll be like me. You’ll want to live on forever because you are certain you have heaven right here on earth. You will lay in the dark of the night with a huge smile as you hold in your arms one of God’s greatest treasures. You will realize that you have everything worth having. While others stand in line to buy a lottery ticket, you can know you won a long time ago and you have no room or desire for anything more. 

                                                        Life is very cool.     

                                   

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

The Time of Our Lives

 By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     It’s a funny thing how we change as we get older. We begin to understand that life is shorter than we originally thought. When we are young, we wish we could be older. When I was little, I wanted to be old enough to play with the older kids. When I was ten, I wanted to be sixteen so I could drive. I remember sitting in school praying for the afternoon to pass so I could have my freedom back. These days, I wish the days could just be longer. I want more time with my wife, my daughters, and our home. The older I get, the faster time seems to go.

     When we first found out that Cyndi was pregnant, we could hardly wait for baby Emily Sae to be born. When our second little girl, Taylor was born, I remember being so excited for her to say her first words I could hardly wait. These days I’d give anything just to have both of those little girls in my arms again. Time isn’t just fleeting. In a way it’s kind of heartbreaking as well. The thing is, I had great times back then, but I didn’t have the capacity to truly appreciate what I had until some of the moments were long over. The problem with time is it moves along even when you aren’t ready to move along with it.

     When we are young, we don’t understand that our grandparents are just around for a while. We think we will have the same dog and cat forever. And our best friend will always be our closest pal. What we don’t know is that we will find ourselves visiting those very moments for the rest of our lives because those moments are all we have. I have a few of my grandpa’s flannel shirts and an old hat. I have three of the glasses I drank out of when I was a kid at my Grandma’s house. And every now and then, I wear “Old Spice” cologne just like my grandpa did. I know it’s a little strange, but these are the things that allow me to re-connect for just a minute. That’s the thing about age. You find yourself walking around with a mind full of memories and the need to let those closest to you how much you love them.

      I have given my whole heart to my family. They are simply everything to me. I have sat around watching our kids grow up with a guitar in my hands. Foolishly, I have always wanted to be out on the road playing my music. And because of my persistence, I guess this is about to become a realty soon. I never dreamed the heaviness the idea of leaving would actually bring to my heart. I have always worked very hard at whatever I have wanted. That’s one of the culprits that stole time from my family. I push and push until I get what I want. Now with the reality in front of me, I recently realized that this is going to be much, much harder than I thought. My world is right beside my wife, my home, my powerful memories that I constantly visit. I know now that the warmth and beauty of my wife, the laughter of my kids, and unconditional love of our animals is far more than I ever deserved. I only want to be with them. The rest of what the world offers is certainly appreciated. But, we are going to need to find a way to work it all out somehow.

     Believe me when I say that I am fully aware that my children are all but grown. It won’t be too much longer until they won’t need me as much. One is a junior in college and one is a junior in high school. I guess I just don’t want to miss anything as it comes anymore. I think the greatest lesson I have ever learned is the one that time taught me. That measure of heartbeats that we call a clock has shown me what if feels like to truly appreciate every single minute. For that, I am thankful because I know there are people all over the world that only have regret for the life they didn’t choose to live. For what it’s worth, I will live the years that I have left on this earth doing my best to be a better husband, a better dad, a better son, and a better friend to the few that I actually have. In the mean time, I guess time will just have to continue marching on. There’s not a thing in the world I can do to slow it down.

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.         

November Rain

By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author

     We are living in a moment of history that is so important! I believe that our society is at a crossroads. The lines are already drawn, and each of us is going to need to decide what side we want to stand on. For instance, do you believe that we can co-exist with Isis? Are you ready to give up your guns? How do you feel about protecting our borders or giving financial aid and voting rights to people that are not legal citizens? What about this continued process of treating veterans so terribly? Teachers unions? How about a woman being a proven liar that has actually lied under oath and still being a front-runner for the nation's highest office? The list goes on and on.

     We all have the right to believe what we want to believe. We have the right to voice our opinions. We even have the right to turn our back on the American flag I guess. Yes, living in a free country allows you to be and act like an idiot. You are given a pass on whether or not you want to appreciate the American blood that has been shed on battlefields all over the world giving you the right to behave badly. To me, though, it is such a shame that those of us that have Christian views are being treated like a problem rather than an answer. The news media wants us to feel like we are foolish for not recognizing their liberal agenda as the new world order. We should close our eyes and ears and accept whatever lie they insist we believe. They want us to be sheep. I don’t think that I’m alone when I say, “I’ll pass on the stupid. But thanks anyway.”

     I would never tell you what you should believe as far as politics go. For me, it is very important that everything aligns with my faith when it comes down to a voting booth. I think both parties have changed to the point that it is hard for me to recognize either one of them. The Democrats are certainly not the party of the old south that my family would have originally sided with and voted for years ago. The Republican Party has been telling us for years that they are in line with Reagan’s ways but they have been lying like dogs. Instead, they have been trying to build a bigger government and gain more and more power. Should we choose our poison and drink up? I don’t believe so. But that’s just me.

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     I predict that millions in our country are wide- awake. We are sick to death of the direction our nation is headed. We are sick to death of walking on the eggshells of political correctness. We truly want to see Isis destroyed forever, and we have no problem with calling out an extremist. We want to repair our broken health care system with something that actually works and helps our people. We want to our borders protected. We want our veterans helped and appreciated in every way possible. We want honesty back in the white house. We want the lies to stop. And we want God back in our schools, our universities, our government, and our nation.

     We are going to prove this sooner than later. November is just around the corner and we the people are going to storm this land with a like -minded vote. Both parties are going to feel this. If you’re a politician and aren’t working for the betterment of America, then you will be fired. We deserve better. Our people deserve good paying jobs with nice futures ahead of them, and this certainly includes the people in the inner city. Change is long over due. Nobody signed up for what we have now, and both parties are to blame. Our country has always been great, but we are about to become much greater. But first, we need to take the trash out.     

    

 

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

       

Faded Jeans and Flannel Shirts and Pretty Brown Eyes

      By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author

 

     Fall is coming! I can tell because red, yellow, and brown M&M’s are showing up at our house. Fall placemats, a cinnamon broom on the wall in the garage, and pretty fall colored lights are on the fireplace mantel.  My wife, Cynthia, makes our home incredibly comfortable year round, but I guess I enjoy fall the most because the season promises cooler temperatures, family gatherings, and of course Christmas is right around the corner.

  

     I love to go down to the creek at the back our farm and watch the leaves fall on the water. I like to watch the changes across the fields where I live. And most of all, I love to spend time with our little family. My wife, my daughters, and our dogs make for some pretty special times that I hope I will remember even when I get to heaven.  My wife keeps all kinds of cool things to decorate our house with and every day for the coming weeks the house changes just a little bit more every day. It goes from summery bunnies sitting around to scarecrows and pumpkins. She keeps fresh apple cider in the refrigerator for us, and an occasional spiced doughnut may even appear every now and then, but not for long.

     Campfires are always nice, but I think they are best in the fall. The night skies are clear, and the air is crisp. Where we live, it is always quiet, and I can think clearly as I stare into the flames. That is until I look across the glow of the fire and see how pretty my wife Cynthia looks in her faded jeans and flannel shirt. Then, I usually forget all about whatever I was contemplating. It doesn’t matter, though. I have all I have ever wanted these days. My family is happy and healthy. My mom and dad are healthy and doing well. And I feel pretty good too, knowing that all is good with those that matter most to me. I remember not having the same feelings about fall. I saw it as the season that brought an end to things. As far as I was concerned, it represented nothing more than a killing frost and the beginning of bitter cold. Our opinions change as we grow in age and wisdom, though, and that’s probably a good thing in my case. These days I see fall representing a chance to slow down a bit and reflect on things. There just isn’t any good reason to dread the changing seasons any more than there is reason to ever give up hope. To me, reminding myself what a lucky man I am is easy. I walk through our home and see the pictures of my beautiful daughters and wife, my parents, grandparents, and even our dogs. I know that I am blessed with far more than I deserve and believe me, I don’t take it for granted.

     I won’t waste my time being cynical about things I can’t change. I refuse to be a part of that thought process. As far as I’m concerned, the world is still a pretty great place. I see all the crazies burning down their towns across the country on the evening news and wonder what in the world they are thinking. I hope I never become so bitter as to have that much hate in my heart. I want to enjoy every moment that I’m given. I want to hold my wife’s hand and speak without speaking. I want to know that my daughters know in their hearts how much I love them. I want to play music and write songs. I want to drink hot cider beside the campfire at night. I want to live my life with the volume turned all the way up and never stop looking into the future or missing the minute that I’m in. And when winter gives us her coldest wind and darkest clouds, I want to know that spring is right around the corner. Go ahead and let the leaves begin to fall.  

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.