By Scott Coner
Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author
It’s a funny thing how we change as we get older. We begin
to understand that life is shorter than we originally thought. When we are
young, we wish we could be older. When I was little, I wanted to be old enough
to play with the older kids. When I was ten, I wanted to be sixteen so I could
drive. I remember sitting in school praying for the afternoon to pass so I
could have my freedom back. These days, I wish the days could just be longer. I
want more time with my wife, my daughters, and our home. The older I get, the
faster time seems to go.
When we first
found out that Cyndi was pregnant, we could hardly wait for baby Emily Sae to
be born. When our second little girl, Taylor was born, I remember being so
excited for her to say her first words I could hardly wait. These days I’d give
anything just to have both of those little girls in my arms again. Time isn’t
just fleeting. In a way it’s kind of heartbreaking as well. The thing is, I had
great times back then, but I didn’t have the capacity to truly appreciate what
I had until some of the moments were long over. The problem with time is it
moves along even when you aren’t ready to move along with it.
When we are
young, we don’t understand that our grandparents are just around for a while.
We think we will have the same dog and cat forever. And our best friend will
always be our closest pal. What we don’t know is that we will find ourselves
visiting those very moments for the rest of our lives because those moments are
all we have. I have a few of my grandpa’s flannel shirts and an old hat. I have
three of the glasses I drank out of when I was a kid at my Grandma’s house. And
every now and then, I wear “Old Spice” cologne just like my grandpa did. I know
it’s a little strange, but these are the things that allow me to re-connect for
just a minute. That’s the thing about age. You find yourself walking around
with a mind full of memories and the need to let those closest to you how much
you love them.
I have given my whole heart to my family. They
are simply everything to me. I have sat around watching our kids grow up with a
guitar in my hands. Foolishly, I have always wanted to be out on the road
playing my music. And because of my persistence, I guess this is about to
become a realty soon. I never dreamed the heaviness the idea of leaving would
actually bring to my heart. I have always worked very hard at whatever I have
wanted. That’s one of the culprits that stole time from my family. I push and
push until I get what I want. Now with the reality in front of me, I recently realized
that this is going to be much, much harder than I thought. My world is right beside
my wife, my home, my powerful memories that I constantly visit. I know now that
the warmth and beauty of my wife, the laughter of my kids, and unconditional
love of our animals is far more than I ever deserved. I only want to be with
them. The rest of what the world offers is certainly appreciated. But, we are
going to need to find a way to work it all out somehow.
Believe me when I
say that I am fully aware that my children are all but grown. It won’t be too
much longer until they won’t need me as much. One is a junior in college and
one is a junior in high school. I guess I just don’t want to miss anything as
it comes anymore. I think the greatest lesson I have ever learned is the one
that time taught me. That measure of heartbeats that we call a clock has shown
me what if feels like to truly appreciate every single minute. For that, I am
thankful because I know there are people all over the world that only have
regret for the life they didn’t choose to live. For what it’s worth, I will
live the years that I have left on this earth doing my best to be a better
husband, a better dad, a better son, and a better friend to the few that I
actually have. In the mean time, I guess time will just have to continue
marching on. There’s not a thing in the world I can do to slow it down.
Keep in touch!
Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.
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