I Wouldn't Change Much Even If I Could

      By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     I couldn’t have met my wife at a worse time. But I did, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I fell all over myself for her and I was pretty sure if I didn’t have her by my side for the rest of my life, I didn’t care to go on. I was in the process of a divorce. She was in the same process. Man, it was just awful. I think everybody that knew us at the time had nothing encouraging to say about our state of affairs. It was embarrassing and I know it looked sketchy at best. The thing is, you don’t get to choose when or how certain things happen. You respond the best way possible and hope for the best. I remember pretty well the day I sat in a truck talking to Cyndi about how I saw things. I told her how much she meant to me. I tried to understand what she was going through. And we both were fully aware that everybody on our little world were staying up late talking badly about us. We both cared about what people thought. We didn’t want to disappoint anybody. But, like I’ve said, I was head over heals and there was no turning back. 

                                                                                                

                                    

     If there have been any issues in our marriage after all of these years, I assure you it has been my fault. If there has been anyone that has brought a level of integrity and beauty into my life, I can also assure you it was because of her. She taught me how to relax. She gave me children. She made our home look like something out of a magazine. And every time I look at her she still takes my breath away. So, after all the dust settled, I came out the winner by a very long margin. I didn’t deserve her. Yes, I’m aware. But, somehow, I got everything I could have ever imagined.      

     As she and I get older together, we talk about this next stage in life that is about to come upon us. Our daughters are grown and it won’t be long until it’s just going to be us. We will be “empty nesters” as they say. It scares us both a little. And we both talk about how quickly time seems to slide by without being noticed. If I could wish for one thing, I would wish for more time with her and the girls. It’s heartbreaking to realize in the not too distant future my life will be nearly over and I just don’t want to go. I’m not scared of dying, but I’m terrified of being without them.

               

     

     There have been moments I have been a total jerk. Those are the times and the memories that I hate the most. It’s true that you can’t take back things you do and say. I just wish it were possible because I would never do anything on purpose to hurt her or my family. As I get older, I begin to better understand that my life has been blessed from the start. I have had opportunities that others would have loved to have. I have walked away from more than most even dream of. And somehow, I still landed right side up. I don’t know how that happened, so I can’t explain it. I do know without any doubt at all that at this moment, I am very, very happy to have my life. I love how things have turned out and I don’t have regrets. I wouldn’t dare complain too much because I think it would fall on deaf ears anyway.

     

     I don’t have any real wisdom to pass along after living all of this life. I always tell young guys to wear good shoes because their knees will thank them later. I also tell anyone that will listen that they should eat well and not poison themselves with fast food. Other than that, make sure you get a woman like mine. If you can do that, you will want to be home every chance you get. You will walk around with a smile while everyone else wants to complain. And when you get older, you’ll be like me. You’ll want to live on forever because you are certain you have heaven right here on earth. You will lay in the dark of the night with a huge smile as you hold in your arms one of God’s greatest treasures. You will realize that you have everything worth having. While others stand in line to buy a lottery ticket, you can know you won a long time ago and you have no room or desire for anything more. 

                                                        Life is very cool.     

                                   

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

The Time of Our Lives

 By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     It’s a funny thing how we change as we get older. We begin to understand that life is shorter than we originally thought. When we are young, we wish we could be older. When I was little, I wanted to be old enough to play with the older kids. When I was ten, I wanted to be sixteen so I could drive. I remember sitting in school praying for the afternoon to pass so I could have my freedom back. These days, I wish the days could just be longer. I want more time with my wife, my daughters, and our home. The older I get, the faster time seems to go.

     When we first found out that Cyndi was pregnant, we could hardly wait for baby Emily Sae to be born. When our second little girl, Taylor was born, I remember being so excited for her to say her first words I could hardly wait. These days I’d give anything just to have both of those little girls in my arms again. Time isn’t just fleeting. In a way it’s kind of heartbreaking as well. The thing is, I had great times back then, but I didn’t have the capacity to truly appreciate what I had until some of the moments were long over. The problem with time is it moves along even when you aren’t ready to move along with it.

     When we are young, we don’t understand that our grandparents are just around for a while. We think we will have the same dog and cat forever. And our best friend will always be our closest pal. What we don’t know is that we will find ourselves visiting those very moments for the rest of our lives because those moments are all we have. I have a few of my grandpa’s flannel shirts and an old hat. I have three of the glasses I drank out of when I was a kid at my Grandma’s house. And every now and then, I wear “Old Spice” cologne just like my grandpa did. I know it’s a little strange, but these are the things that allow me to re-connect for just a minute. That’s the thing about age. You find yourself walking around with a mind full of memories and the need to let those closest to you how much you love them.

      I have given my whole heart to my family. They are simply everything to me. I have sat around watching our kids grow up with a guitar in my hands. Foolishly, I have always wanted to be out on the road playing my music. And because of my persistence, I guess this is about to become a realty soon. I never dreamed the heaviness the idea of leaving would actually bring to my heart. I have always worked very hard at whatever I have wanted. That’s one of the culprits that stole time from my family. I push and push until I get what I want. Now with the reality in front of me, I recently realized that this is going to be much, much harder than I thought. My world is right beside my wife, my home, my powerful memories that I constantly visit. I know now that the warmth and beauty of my wife, the laughter of my kids, and unconditional love of our animals is far more than I ever deserved. I only want to be with them. The rest of what the world offers is certainly appreciated. But, we are going to need to find a way to work it all out somehow.

     Believe me when I say that I am fully aware that my children are all but grown. It won’t be too much longer until they won’t need me as much. One is a junior in college and one is a junior in high school. I guess I just don’t want to miss anything as it comes anymore. I think the greatest lesson I have ever learned is the one that time taught me. That measure of heartbeats that we call a clock has shown me what if feels like to truly appreciate every single minute. For that, I am thankful because I know there are people all over the world that only have regret for the life they didn’t choose to live. For what it’s worth, I will live the years that I have left on this earth doing my best to be a better husband, a better dad, a better son, and a better friend to the few that I actually have. In the mean time, I guess time will just have to continue marching on. There’s not a thing in the world I can do to slow it down.

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.         

Shades of Blue and Gray

 By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     To me, the beauty of art is what it represents. I don’t know very much about painting, or photos, or anything like that. I know what I like when I see it. I know I have never wished I had some paintings of soup cans on my wall. To be honest, I probably like the photos of my family on the walls around my house than anything else. Like they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you like something, isn’t that what matters most?

     I don’t paint pictures. I do take photos with my phone sometimes, but for my own enjoyment. I write songs. I hear melodies. I hear phrases. I search my little piece of the planet for songs. I consider myself a serious songwriter because I truly do apply myself to the craft. I don’t align myself with too many of the publishers that look around for yet another song that “feels” and “sounds” like the last song they had on the radio. I just trudge along doing what I do. No matter what anybody says, I will not chase a train that has already passed me. I think if you consider yourself any type of artist at all, then you have to be yourself. For instance, just because Van Gogh used blues and grays doesn’t mean another guy with a brush can bring out the same beauty using the same colors. And just because some other song talks about how “country” it is to drink whiskey and listen to a train, doesn’t mean I am drawn to that theme.

     I had a conversation recently with a man from Nashville that is involved in my music to some extent. He truly believes that in order to be viable in today’s market that you need to listen to and study the other writers of current radio releases. I think there is some merit to that approach. I do believe if you copy other music, you might actually achieve something. If you listen to twenty minutes of today’s country music, you might walk away believing this approach is pretty popular. But, that’s not how I want to work.

     I instead believe that any genre of music needs to come from somewhere close to the heart. I think it needs to feel good when you play it all alone with just an acoustic guitar or piano. I think it should take you somewhere in your mind. I like the “no-rules” approach to writing. I don’t have a pre-conceived idea of where I want to go with a song. I follow it. It doesn’t follow me. The music getting radio play is something I don’t spend a lot of time following either. I compare trying to figure it all out to understanding the highs and lows in the Wall Street market. I think if you stay true to your own sound, you might make some headway, but I’m not certain of this. When it’s all said and done, it only makes sense to do things your own way.

     I approach music the same way I try to approach life. I don’t compare myself to others. I am comfortable with who I am. I write from my point of view. I live by my rules, not someone else’s. And I strongly believe this is the direction I must take in order to be whole. Have you ever made the mistake of looking at someone else’s set-up and wished it could be yours? I have, but thankfully I came to my senses pretty quickly. I have had some success with my music, but not enough to fulfill me. I have had visions of where I want to go, and I will follow those visions all the way to the end. Like they say, the destination isn’t the fun part. It’s the journey. I have weak moments. I have times when I wish I hadn’t picked up that first guitar. But, I am what I am. We are who we are.

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

   

Finding What Matters

     By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author

     I had a long talk with an old friend today. We talked about family and friends. We talked about how quickly time goes. But we eventually always talk about music. We discussed the beauty of the feelings that visit us when we write a song. We talked about the differentiation of music and the business of music. I don’t suppose we discussed anything that hasn’t been discussed a million times before. What struck me, though, wasn’t what took place on the phone. What got to me were thoughts I had as I drove down the road alone considering the topic itself.

     My relationship with music seems to revitalize itself pretty often. As I have said before, music has brought me nearly everything worth having that is in my life. I have gone deep into my personal world and shared my feelings with strangers through a song. My closest friends are all part of the music world. Music allows me to see the world through a slightly different lens than how I might have originally viewed it. It gives me so much it’s very hard to put into words. Somehow, it gently just became what I am. I think it is comparable to a farmer that gives his heart and soul to the earth. He works with. He knows it. After a while, he doesn’t seem comfortable anywhere except in his own God-given world.

              

     Recently, I have pushed myself to limits I hadn’t needed to go to before. I have prepared a show that will be around for quite a while if all goes well. I would compare it to a very small off-Broadway play. During the show, I will discuss why certain songs mean so much to me. I will also discuss the ways and reasons I have written many of my own songs. Along with this, we will be incorporating quite a bit of media behind me on the stage. I will include some portions of video from my own songs. I think we will be including photos and video of my family. I also hope to include quite a few unique videos from around the countryside from where I’m from.  The people that I work with in Nashville have taught me the importance of refining everything that goes with the show. They have helped me understand that I need to keep the things the same at all times. Sometimes life just happens, and we might find ourselves a bit off balance or disheartened. Specific structure will help me maintain the quality of the show. In truth, this probably keeps me from getting in front of people and rambling on unnecessarily. I know I have done this in the past, so believe me, structure and rules need to apply.

     Anyway, after talking with my friend about music, I began to think how truly blessed I am to be able to do what I love so much. I truly hope that whoever is reading this has a personal perspective of being whole and full of what matters. The world seems like a pretty crazy place to me these days. But it all melts away when I turn it off and visit the place that music takes me. Life is hard. I know that we can’t hide from the fact. But, I truly believe that if we could all find our true purpose, most of the world’s craziness would just go away. True peace really does come from within.

I might sound like I need to be handing flowers out an airport, but our busy surroundings 

don’t allow for nearly enough time to enjoy what feeds our soul.   

 

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

November Rain

By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author

     We are living in a moment of history that is so important! I believe that our society is at a crossroads. The lines are already drawn, and each of us is going to need to decide what side we want to stand on. For instance, do you believe that we can co-exist with Isis? Are you ready to give up your guns? How do you feel about protecting our borders or giving financial aid and voting rights to people that are not legal citizens? What about this continued process of treating veterans so terribly? Teachers unions? How about a woman being a proven liar that has actually lied under oath and still being a front-runner for the nation's highest office? The list goes on and on.

     We all have the right to believe what we want to believe. We have the right to voice our opinions. We even have the right to turn our back on the American flag I guess. Yes, living in a free country allows you to be and act like an idiot. You are given a pass on whether or not you want to appreciate the American blood that has been shed on battlefields all over the world giving you the right to behave badly. To me, though, it is such a shame that those of us that have Christian views are being treated like a problem rather than an answer. The news media wants us to feel like we are foolish for not recognizing their liberal agenda as the new world order. We should close our eyes and ears and accept whatever lie they insist we believe. They want us to be sheep. I don’t think that I’m alone when I say, “I’ll pass on the stupid. But thanks anyway.”

     I would never tell you what you should believe as far as politics go. For me, it is very important that everything aligns with my faith when it comes down to a voting booth. I think both parties have changed to the point that it is hard for me to recognize either one of them. The Democrats are certainly not the party of the old south that my family would have originally sided with and voted for years ago. The Republican Party has been telling us for years that they are in line with Reagan’s ways but they have been lying like dogs. Instead, they have been trying to build a bigger government and gain more and more power. Should we choose our poison and drink up? I don’t believe so. But that’s just me.

Scott Coner's hit song "Line In It"

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     I predict that millions in our country are wide- awake. We are sick to death of the direction our nation is headed. We are sick to death of walking on the eggshells of political correctness. We truly want to see Isis destroyed forever, and we have no problem with calling out an extremist. We want to repair our broken health care system with something that actually works and helps our people. We want to our borders protected. We want our veterans helped and appreciated in every way possible. We want honesty back in the white house. We want the lies to stop. And we want God back in our schools, our universities, our government, and our nation.

     We are going to prove this sooner than later. November is just around the corner and we the people are going to storm this land with a like -minded vote. Both parties are going to feel this. If you’re a politician and aren’t working for the betterment of America, then you will be fired. We deserve better. Our people deserve good paying jobs with nice futures ahead of them, and this certainly includes the people in the inner city. Change is long over due. Nobody signed up for what we have now, and both parties are to blame. Our country has always been great, but we are about to become much greater. But first, we need to take the trash out.     

    

 

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.