By Scott Coner
Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author
I spoke with Beverly
Gosdin for a long time today. We talked about all kinds of things, but
eventually, we talked about her late husband, Vern Gosdin. As I listened to her
talk, I could easily detect the pain that still lives on today as she spoke of
him. She met Vern in 1976 in a Georgia bar called, “Country Roads.” By that
time, he had released three minor singles, and he was beginning to be noticed in
Nashville as well as country radio. Vern saw something in Beverly that caught
his eye, and by the next week, he began spending all of his time with her. She
traveled with him wherever he went. As his star began to rise, she was right
there beside him. Before we go any farther, though, let me just say that I have
been a huge, huge fan of Vern Gosdin for years. But, at the same time, I am no
expert about his music or his personal life. The following information is a
report based on these conversations with Beverly. When these talks began, I had
no idea this was going to be the direction things were going to go.
Beverly
is a sweet, kind, and quiet lady. I can tell she has been through far more than
she ever deserved, but she is strong, and she’s a survivor. For the last two or
three weeks, she and I have talked off and on. Every conversation seemed to
gravitate closer to what she really wanted to tell me. To be honest, I’m not
entirely sure how we even bumped into each other. I had noticed she seemed to
like some of my songs, and I had sent her a message once about a friend of
Verne’s from his early days working on the west coast. She mentioned two of my
songs, “Into the Clouds” and “When the Angels Cry.” I was very happy that she
liked my music and I was even happier that she and I became friends. I just
hated to hear about the allegations of abuse.
Vern
Gosdin was blessed with an angelic voice, but he was possibly a broken man. His
childhood had been something he was never able to overcome, and it haunted him
until his last breath. He gave us songs that touched our souls. He could sing
about a broken relationship, and the listener would swear the song had broken
Vern’s own heart. He was an artist. When he applied himself, he could literally
take a country song to heights no one else could ever do. I truly believe he
was on the same level as George Jones. I don’t know of any other singer to
compare him to. He was special. But he was still possibly broken. “Vern was a
very insecure and jealous man,” said Beverly. “We were at a party once, and he
wasn’t confident enough to introduce himself to Willy Nelson, so he sent me to
start the conversation and kind of bring him into it. I remember being at a
restaurant with Vern and the waitress asked him for an autograph. After giving
the lady his signature I could tell he was embarrassed. I told him, “From now
on I’ll call you something else.” Vern said, “What will you call me?” And I
jokingly said, “I’ll call you Dude.” He said, “Ok then, I’ll call you Dude too.”
From that day on, we never used each other’s names. We just called each other
Dude. For some reason, the name just seemed to stick with me, though, and
everyone in the music business always called me Dude instead of Beverly.”
The
problem with being involved in music is that it often amplifies the good as
well as the bad in an individual. An artist can find themselves somewhere just
outside of reality, and if they aren’t careful, they move away from the rest of
us. The pain that a singer often feels is re-lived through their music. They
say you can hone in on where a comedian hurts the most through their comedic
material. I think the same can be said about the music a singer works with. If
this is true, then it is possible that Vern’s library of music tells the story
of a man that hurt at a very deep level. His feelings painted a picture that
the rest of us have been standing back marveling at ever since.
Beverly said she endured nine painful years with Vern. She said she
finally got to the point where she was actually beginning to fear for her life.
“The verbal abuse became physical. The threats became believable. And the
violence just became all too regular for me to deal with”. She told me that,
“He had never tried to seek any professional help with his emotional problems.
Instead, he self-medicated with everything from cocaine to marijuana”. All
control was lost, and by the ninth year of their marriage, she told me she
realized that she had no choice but to leave him. She said she still loved him,
but he was only getting worse at every level. She moved back home to Georgia
and let Vern have everything. She took no money. She took no furniture. She
only took the clothes on her back, and she started with nothing. She tried to
forget, but people recognized her. It seemed that his music showed up
everywhere in her little world. Four years after leaving him, she had a
complete breakdown. It was her body and her mind telling her it was time to
re-boot. It was time to find a new life and begin looking forward instead of
living in the not too distant past.
Years
have come and gone, and Beverly has only become stronger. She has allowed
herself to be known a bit through social media and will soon begin the process
of promoting a book about her life with Vern Gosdin. She told me how hard it
was to revisit parts of her past that only held pain. She has had to allow
herself to remember things she has tried to forget. Her goal has never been to
tarnish the name of her late husband. But, she wants, to tell the truth. She
wants, to be honest about the abuse she endured. She told me she wants to share
her life in hopes that her story can help others.
I
believe that Beverly Gosdin is about to take her past and present and do
something extraordinary. Her life story will encourage other women to
reconsider situations in their own lives. Her story will promote strength. She
will prove that even when there doesn’t seem to be any way out, there is always
a means of escape. I have purposely only touched on her life story. I want you
to read her book. I want you to know her. She has built her own legacy. After
going all the way down, she found a way to rise again.
She is strong.
She is
hopeful for her future.
She is someone we all need to know about.
Keep in touch!
Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.
