Monday, September 26, 2016

The Willingness to Change and Avoid Hitting Butterflies

By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author




     I’d say that it’s common knowledge that most of us know that life is a combination of events. Some of those events we may plan for years. Other situations occur due to all types of cause and effect. I also believe that it is a pretty sure bet that we all have some bruises and a few deep cuts that we would like to keep private. Life just has her way of leaving little reminders. We, in turn, have the choice of using those scars to allow for wisdom, or to roll around in, and be frozen and broken from that specific moment.


     I have made far too many mistakes to even pick a good one as an example. Some mistakes I have had to make more than once just to get a clear objective. One of my earliest memories is a very young version of me in my mom and dad’s bedroom sticking a bobby pen in a light receptacle not just once, but twice. I remember the feeling running up my hand and arm, but not fully understanding what was going on. The bobby-pen must have come out on its own, so of course, I had to go for it again. This must have been early confirmation that I would be making certain mistakes on a fairly regular basis. The problem is when you know good, and well what the eventual outcome is going to be, it is no longer a mistake. It is an informed decision.

     We have all talked to that sad, broken hearted person about their relationship that has gone nowhere but down over the last twenty years. We listen, and we feel the pain coming from that person. But in the end, nothing changes. I believe the big-money counselors call this the act of enabling. To put it simply, instead of dealing with an issue, we decide to help it along and complain about it whenever we get a chance. I would imagine there is an entire legion of people that would attack my opinion, but I see this as simple weakness. I think sometimes we need to dig deep and find strength in order to promote true and lasting change. People say that you can’t change people. But, I disagree. I know this because I changed. I had to make specific changes in my life if I was going to hold on to my marriage. I had to find a quiet place and do some serious thinking. I started making changes right away. I couldn’t find anyone to blame but myself. I knew I alone was the reason I had wasted years of my life not pursuing what I needed to be. I also knew that the only thing to do was to begin again. I had to develop a plan and be willing to do the work required in order to accomplish my goals. In order to do this correctly, though, I would need my wife’s help. These days, I can look at what we have accomplished together and feel a true sense of pride. I am proud of what we have completed together. I am proud of the plans we still have. And lastly, I am proud that I had enough love in my heart to seek true change and stick to it.


     I don’t have a lot of true, close friends in my world. Sure, I have a few friends. But, I don’t think anyone but my wife and kids truly know me. They know the guy that fiddles around the house writing songs. They know the guy that needs to be around his horses and donkeys and dogs. They even know the guy that slows down his truck in order to avoid hitting a butterfly or a caterpillar trying to cross the road. They also know the guy that has made miss-steps and mistakes along the way. But what matters most is they know I have been willing to change in order to make things level and right. I know I have kept my world too private. I have a nine- foot fence and gates surrounding my home. And beyond that, is farm ground. Somewhere along the way, I think my disappointments have driven me to shut off most of the world and simply focus on what I could do something about. Maybe, in the back of my mind I thought if I contained my own world, I could keep it under control. But then again, I really like safety and privacy. And who knows? I might want a set of giraffes one day. 

     We all make mistakes. We all deal with mistakes differently. I hate to be judgmental of others and how they handle certain situations. But at the same time, I hate to see people make lateral movements and never actually improve their lives. Life sure has an awful lot to offer if we are willing to be open to change and willing to do what is necessary. So, the moral of the story is: Don’t stick things where they don’t belong. And don’t keep doing stupid things over and over.




 

Keep in touch!




Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 


  

Monday, September 12, 2016

The Process of Writing

By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author


     Writing songs is like trying to find a four- leaf clover in a hay field. If you search all afternoon, you probably won’t come across one. But if you don’t look too hard, it will find you. Looking back over the many songs as well as attempts at songs I have written, that seems to apply. I have got up early in the morning with nothing on my mind but writing. I put my most comfortable jeans and shirt on. I have a nice hot cup of coffee. And I sit somewhere looking blankly at a piece of paper with a guitar in my lap with nothing coming to me. On the other hand, I can get busy with life and ideas just come naturally.



Still shot of Scott Coner and Carol Chase during their "Whiter Shade of Pale" cover duet



     Carol Chase and I write together quite a bit when she isn’t on the road with Skynyrd. She may show up with a piece of a song she has written on the road. Or, I may show up with some music and an idea. We have even been “Skyping” to firm up material as we get close to a recording date. She has been writing professionally longer than I have. She has had songs recorded by Ronnie Millsap, Pam Tillis as well as others. She has recorded a song that was used on “Every Which Way But Loose.” And she has done back up vocals not only with Lynyrd Skynyrd, but George Jones, Pam Tillis, and many more legends. She understands the concept of writing a song. She has introduced me to the idea of shutting the world off, sitting in a room with many ideas at the same time and writing. She and I have actually spent whole days together and written as many as three songs in a single afternoon. At the end of it all, I can only describe the feeling as “purged” or “cleansed”. I’m not sure which.
     As far as I am concerned, music has been like a therapy to me. Without realizing what I was doing, I have gone deep into my own mind and stepped out with messages I didn’t even know where there. I think it is the process of turning off part of your mind while turning another part on that actually takes place. It all began while I was just a kid. I think I wrote songs because I didn’t play other artists songs very well. It was early on in my playing career that my limitations were what propelled me to be imaginative with what few chords that were at my disposal.

Scott Coner and Carol Chase during a writing session


     Lately, I have been working on a book called, “In Case I’m Not Around.” In the last chapter, I list all of the songs I have written so far and included the process or idea behind each song. I have done this more for my daughters than for anyone else. I just wanted them to understand why I chose to write certain things I guess. As I have worked out the list and went over so many songs, I can see the parts of me that showed themselves when I wasn’t looking. Words or phrases that have been used in my family for years have shown up in songs. As I have allowed my mind to tether out in the abyss, I found that I wasn’t really out there too far, to begin with. I am simply a product of my family. My little town, my friends, past relationships, loss and happiness all show up in the music. I have always wanted to keep my music as down to earth as possible. I don’t use a computer to find a word that rhymes or works well with another. If I don’t have the word or phrase right away, I simply wait for it to come. If someone happened to come across me while I was writing, they would probably think I had lost my mind. I will sit and play the same lines over and over until the right part comes. I may fill a void with a “dummy” line until the proper one shows itself. Like I say, I have been in the clover fields before and came up with nothing at the end of the search. But the search is part of the blessing itself. If you have ever been on a beach early in the morning looking at the sand for shells, you must know what I’m talking about. That time spent along the water's edge listening to the tide, feeling the warm sun and wind is never wasted time. 

At the end of the search, you may come up empty handed, but even then, you know you had a memorable moment that was worth the walk.    


 

Keep in touch!




Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page. 

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Faded Jeans and Flannel Shirts and Pretty Brown Eyes

      By Scott Coner

Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author
 


  







Keep in touch!




Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.