Staying Focused in the Middle of it All

     

                                                                               By Scott Coner

                                          Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author

     Trying to stay focused on something that is constantly changing can be challenging. Today's world seems to move in so many directions it's hard to keep up. I have been writing and playing music since I was 15. I’m not all that old, but I remember a world that was far less technical than the one I’m living in now. I remember the joy I felt as I learned a new chord or came up with a melody or sound that seemed like it was all mine. Back then I wasn’t sitting with a lap -top to write lyrics with. I didn’t have a practice studio. And I sure wasn’t running to a studio every chance I got or worrying about writing for the market. Instead, I wrote for my own enjoyment. I was finding myself sitting right there all alone with a cheap acoustic guitar. At that moment, I think my goal in life was to grab an “F” chord without having to stop in order to get my fingers out of a knot.

     Lately, I have found myself removed a bit from the reasons I wanted to play music in the first place. I worry about finding the right booking agents that will want to work with me I worry about being certain I have the right group of people together in order to do the shows right. I worry about the fact that the phone isn’t ringing off the hook. I worry about trying to stay in good physical condition. And lately, I worry about the fact that I seem to worry all the time. I’d say the biggest issue is, in order to maintain sanity, I have to have faith in others. I have to believe people will do what they say. I have to not be in control. I have to be confident that things will be done in an orderly way. It’s a lot harder than it sounds. Believe me.

                     

     Music has become a business to me these days, and I wish it didn’t have to be. I wish I could focus on doing a good job on the songs themselves. Somewhere along the line, I have allowed things to get out of hand. You find yourself wanting something so badly your willing to get knee deep in things that aren’t central to accomplishing much of anything. All I ever wanted was to play music and write songs. It has always been about the passion of the art itself. That moment of magic is what I have loved so much. I hope to find that part of me again soon. I hope that this year will allow the songs themselves to matter more. I still practice and prepare. But I don’t work at writing like I have for most of my life. I feel like I should be preparing for what is around the corner instead of chasing a song down a rabbit hole. Some days I wonder if things will ever actually fall into place like they need to. But I don’t allow my mind to drift in that direction for too long. I have told people for years that if you focus and prepare, the change you desire will find you. We live our lives in faith. We believe that we have a Savior in heaven. We believe that our significant other loves us as much as we love them. We have faith in our children. I think it is just as important to have that same type of faith in what we have pursued. I don’t think God plays us as a fool. He doesn’t put something on your heart only to break you into a thousand pieces. But, at the same time, He never promised an easy ride. Sometimes we just need to man up and grab a hold of the moment. We know that things will happen just as much as we know there is an invisible wind in our face.

     So where was I going with this rant? I guess I wanted you to know that we all have weak moments. We all get nervous in the middle of the night. For whatever it’s worth, just stay the course. Whatever your dream is, remember that it matters. Remember that you matter. Go and do what you love. Chase what comes naturally to you. And no matter how hard things get, always know that the rest of us are right there in the same boat with you. We have all felt foolish or let down. We have all wondered what in the world we are doing. But there are two types of people in this world. One type knows what it is to hang on and never give up. Just make sure you are this type of person. Don’t allow yourself to be full of regret for not taking steps in faith. Just believe that God is, and always will be in control. He gave you your gift for a reason. It is up to you to develop it and share that part of yourself as you see fit.

                 

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.            

Hang on Snoopy, Snoopy Hang on

                                                                                     By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author  

     I take writing seriously. It doesn’t matter if it’s a song or a blog, a short story or a full length project. I usually crawl inside of whatever it is and look around for a while. I have a room that’s attached to my studio that is like stepping back in time. It’s a quiet place with warm lighting and a stereo and lots of vinyl. I don’t get to spend as much time there as I would like, but it’s nice to know that it’s waiting on me when I get the chance. I suppose you could call it a “man-cave,” but not the kind you would expect. There are no televisions and pool tables. Instead, there is a piano, a couch, and a stereo. The walls are full of things from my childhood as well as some great articles from my wife’s young life. This room allows me to relax and write.  

     I think a lot of folks live in the moment. People don’t look back over their shoulders often. I don’t live in the past either, but it seems like many of the characters or stories that I write about are set in a season that has long since passed. This process has been going on for years with me. It began when I was still very young and has continued along. I don’t think I would change my approach even if I could. I am a child of the 70’s. I identify with the music, the movies, and the styles from that decade.

Photo courtesy of 22860 on Flickr 

     A while back, I ran across a photo of a “Charlie Brown/Peanuts” pillowcase on Pinterest. The picture immediately took me back to my eight -year-old self. I remember how my mom had painstakingly decorated my room with “Peanuts” characters. My walls were blue. My bedspread was red. My sheets and pillows were from a 1971 print from the Charles M. Shultz characters. I loved my little room. I liked how it always seemed happy in there. I shared the Pinterest photo with my mom and niece at our most recent Thanksgiving dinner, and I figured our little step back in time was over. But, the other night my niece and nephew came over to visit. They gave me a Christmas package, and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened it. Inside the little package was an honest to goodness “Peanuts Gang” pillowcase straight out of the 1971 line-up! It was special to hold part of my childhood in my hands. But it was far more special to know that Alisha and Josh Coner cared enough to do something so special for me. 

     Last night my wife must have been overjoyed to see her husband’s new pillowcase on her beautiful bed when she walked into the master bedroom. But that is where it will stay. Yes, we are fancy that way. She has made our home beautiful for our family just like my mom did all of those years ago. Everything in our house has Cyndi’s special touch. Everything seems to flow and compliment. But you know, some things match up in different ways. (My pillowcase for instance.) You wouldn’t notice, but it’s a marker from my past. In a glance, this happy artwork from 1971 takes me to an innocent time. It was a time when my parents were still young. I was just a little boy. And the world seemed like a pretty big and wonderful place.  

Scott Coner's pillowcase

     Now, all these years later, we’re all still here. We are all older now, but that’s ok too. I realize how special my family is. I know how we got to where we are at in this very moment. I see that everything happens for a reason and I’m very glad for that. These days, I still listen to quite a bit of 70’s classic rock. I still wear Levi’s jeans like I always have. And I still watch “Charlie Brown” cartoons every holiday. I lay there on my new pillowcase last night and dreamed and planned for the future just like I did when I was a kid. There alone in the darkness I had an epiphany! 

Next year, I’m going to show everyone at Thanksgiving a picture of the Starsky and Hutch car on Pinterest…Good grief.

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.         

Another Conversation with Beverly Gosdin

                                                                                  By Scott Coner

                                                                            Nashville Recording Artist, Songwriter, Performer, and Author            

   It must have been a hard hit for Beverly to walk away from being the wife of Vern Gosdin. From where most of us stand, it would appear that she had everything. She was married to one of the most beloved country music singers of the time. She traveled with Vern; she sang backing vocals for Vern, and in many ways, she was his manager. There was a very deep problem in their marriage, though, and she had reached the point where she could no longer stay in such an environment. I am going to leave this part of the story on the table for Beverly to tell in her upcoming book, though. Today, we are going to go in a bit of a different direction…

(Beverly and her parents)

     It was a brisk morning as she got out of bed in the darkness and grabbed her first cup of coffee. The house was silent, but she could sense there was a heavy frost outside. She felt miles and miles away from her former life. All was calm here. It was a new day, and she was at least an hour ahead of any resemblance of sunlight. She parked her truck at the edge of the woods and quietly stepped into a world of natural beauty far away from the wear and tear of the city. After about thirty minutes of walking through darkness, she arrived at her deer blind. This blind was special and close to her heart. Her brother and his best friend had designed this blind. It opened up like a large umbrella, and the sides dropped down like curtain walls. It gave the hunter room to move around and also to have more than one direction to monitor for deer or other game. “ I threw myself into hunting after being given the opportunity to promote my brothers “Pop Top Hunting Blind.” I know it seems odd to most folks, but I had grown up around hunting, and it seemed like a natural transition to me.” Beverly told me that around that time, she just wanted to be as far away from her old world as she could be. She said that being in the woods and being surrounded by the people that loved the outdoors and hunting gave her the opportunity she needed to breath and allowed herself to finally begin the healing process.

     Honestly, I was surprised when Beverly told me what she did to work through her divorce. In today’s world, everything that a couple has is cut pretty much right down the middle like a big slice of pie. “When I left, I walked out with the clothes on my back and a few of the clothes out of my closet and that was it. I didn’t want any of the things we had shared. I didn’t want a house or a car, and I didn’t want any money. I just wanted to be gone.” Beverly told me that her life began to slowly make sense while she was alone in those woods. The cool, crisp air and the quiet seemed to give her a chance to finally understand who she really was and not who she had allowed herself to become. “I began doing shows around the country demonstrating the hunting blind. I only wore RealTree camouflage in those days. Other outfits like Mossy Oak tried to give me endorsements, but I was a Realtree gal. I loved shooting guns as well as a bow. But I suppose I was partial to an open sight 30/30. I also had a 243 and a muzzleloader.” Beverly has much more to say about these days as well as others. She and I have talked privately, and I am of the opinion that most of her stories need to be saved for her book that comes out in the spring.

(Beverly on the cover of her ex husband's album)

     We are all different. We process pain and loss differently. I find that talking to Beverly Gosdin gives me hope in my own future. She has seen hard days and just kept going on. She didn’t let bumps in the road send her too far into the weeds. By being the wife of Vern Gosdin, I suppose she saw many of the finer things of the time. But she was smart enough to know that it took more than just “things” to make a home. She understood that if she stayed, she would never find true peace. She stepped out on her own and walked away from the sparkle and the glitz of Nashville. Her next stop would be a deer blind in the middle of the woods drinking hot coffee waiting on a buck. (Sounds to me like she would have been better suited for Hank Jr.)

Keep in touch!

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Scott Coner is a country singer-songwriter who has worked in the studio with legendary artists such as Tanya Tucker, T. Graham Brown and Charlie Daniels. You can learn more about him and hear his music at his music page.